So like, it sucks being a human because you have to make decisions, but some stupid mofo decided that we (above all other forms of life) should have the ability to fret endlessly before, during, and after each of our actions. I wish I was an amoeba. Or a pteradactle, pre-meteorite.
So then I realize that the nice thing about having friends is that they'll make all of your decisions for you. Among other things. You can pretend to argue with them, but it's really just to get their opinion. And they'll support you in whatever you want to do, but you were unsure, which is why you asked them in the first place, so then you end up in this tangly web of mixed emotions that is absolutely unresolvable, only now you have twice as many pros and cons than you began with originally.
So then I realize that we should seek all our advice from dumbasses, because if they're anything like amoeba, they'll just see one side of an issue and go with it. So thanks to my smart friends, I'm fucking indecisive. Nice guys, thanks for that.